I have changed so much since last year. I'm just not the same person anymore. I'm happy about that. And I'm happy that my "playa days" (as me and my friends call them) are over. They've been for a long time now. I had my time as a total man whore, but when you're with someone who makes you feel good, you're just like..."man, why was I such a little playa?" Its kind of... well, I dont like the fact that I used to get around so much. I mean, I dont regret really messing around with those other girls, but now I'm like, damn, I was totally missing out. Flings are nothing compared to real feelings, you know?

I like the way Steph makes me feel.... and well, I'm very thankful I found her. Not to be tacky or sound too cheesy (I prolly always do anyway) but she just makes me feel soo good just being around her. I finally really understand what all those EMO songs are talking about.

I never thought that'd happen. I never thought many other things like graduating, being able to deal with my dad's death without destroying my life, fall in love and just being happy like I once used to would ever happen. But I was wrong. I'm happier than I have ever been, I graduated, I can deal with dad's death a lot better, I fell in love more than I had ever before (with the most purrfect chick) and so many other things. And isn't it just funny and so fucking ironic at the same time when things you thought would never happen, actually do happen one day? I think so & I think that just proves that everything is possible. everything.

I'm just happy with myself right now and everything around me. And I'm not going to let anything or anyone ruin that.

mixtapes and memories